Institutionalized

"The door was shut as I was left in a cold empty room. I stood and listened to the echoing of the clanking of keys being turned to secure the lock, I was alone. A dark shadow flooded my mind, shutting me in from the inside. I was in a strange place, filled with strange sounds, putrid smells, and unhappy colorless faces. 

A voice came over the PA system announcing "Free Time" for residents; soon after, my cell door was opened and I was let out of my cage and into the corridor. Unsure of where to go, I shuffled down the long dark hallway. While making my way down the hallway I caught sight of my reflection in a barred window. Ponding my reflection, I briefly sensed a desire in me to grieve, but I could not. The burning that once filled my heart was now gray and lifeless. My reflection bore the struggles against my inner and outer daemons, now etched upon my face. 

In despair of my appearance, I became faint and lost my energy. Sinking down to the floor, like a wind-up toy at its end, I was slowly sliding down and against the wall. Now huddled like a ball, onto the cold and unforgiving floor, I lay in the darkness of the hall.

Suddenly a flash of light took my attention from the cold waxed floor; way above my head I saw a glimmer of light, it was coming from a small dirty skylight. Tears filled my eyes as I thought somewhere, out there, I had lost all hope and now find myself here.

As I lay there in my grief and despair, in this strange place filled with strange sounds, putrid smells, and unhappy colorless faces, my thoughts were turned back to the light that had filled and surrounded me so long ago. Now, with hot tears streaming down my face I prayed: "Please God, please help me to find my way back to the light, the colors, and the fragrances of life. In Jesus' name, Amen". 

Suddenly, I sensed that I was no longer alone. I heard my name called and felt a warm dry breeze pass over my face; drying the tears from my eyes. It was as if the savior's hand brushed them away. It was at that very that moment He filled the emptiness, brought comfort and healing to my inner pain, and the color back to my face and the world.

I was changed, the lock was removed, the door opened, and I remembered who I am."

By John Boone 02/2001